In the beginning . . .

I'm not a big fan of beginnings.  Every time I must start something anew, no matter how big or small, gripping fear and anxiety always paralyzes me.  Sometimes I'm immovable for just a brief moment, other times for days on end.  Why?  Maybe it's because all beginnings hold failures of some sort.  I am who I am today because of my losses, but no fall is without pain.  I think I'm more afraid of the unknown than failure though.  Where will this beginning end?  What roads will I have to walk?  What mountains will be climbed?  What valleys trudged?  Can I possibly persevere regardless of what happens?  These questions and many more make beginnings unpleasant for me.

"In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth." (Gen. 1:1).  Truly God was not afraid of failure.  He couldn't have been afraid of the unknown either.  For He is omniscient, knowing everything that the future would hold.  Yet amazingly, knowing all didn't stop Him.  It could have.  I think it would have me.  "You mean people are going to reject me, want to be gods themselves, and destroy my creation as a result."  Nope, I would have squashed that idea like a bug.  Yet God wasn't thinking about all the negative things that would happen.  He saw the beginning as an opportunity to create.  Could it be that He began with the end in mind, knowing that He would make all things new?

It's 2012, a new year full of beginnings and occasions to create.  Even now as I type and think about the possibilities that lie before me, my stomach gets queasy and my heart flutters.  What will this year hold?  What losses will have to be counted?  What unknown way trekked?  Can I possibly endure?  In the beginning God . . . He was in the beginning, and He is in the now, and He will be in my tomorrow.  This truth settles my unnerved heart.  I can take a deep breath and relax a bit.  Maybe beginnings aren't so bad afterall.  Maybe I too need to keep the end in mind as I begin.  For He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it.