Free to Serve

You humble yourselves by going through the motions of penance, bowing your heads like reeds bending in the wind.  You dress in burlap and cover yourselves with ashes.  Is this what you call fasting?  Do you really think this will please the Lord?  This is the kind of fasting I want:  Free those who are wrongly imprisoned; lighten the burden of those who work for you.  Let the oppressed go free, and remove the chains that bind people.  Share your food with the hungry, and give shelter to the homeless. Give clothes to those who need them, and do not hide from relatives who need your help. Then your salvation will come like the dawn, and your wounds will quickly heal.  Your godliness will lead you forward, and the glory of the Lord will protect you from behind.  Then when you call, the Lord will answer. ‘Yes, I am here,’ he will quickly reply.  Remove the heavy yoke of oppression.  Stop pointing your finger and spreading vicious rumors!  Feed the hungry, and help those in trouble. Then your light will shine out from the darkness, and the darkness around you will be as bright as noon.   (Isaiah 58:5-10 NLT)  

On this Ash Wednesday, as I consider what I should "give up" so that I can cling to the Lord more, I keep coming back to these words in Isaiah.  Ashes and sackcloth meant nothing to the Lord if a person was only "going through the motions".  Words that cut to the quick, honestly.  Sometimes I catch myself going through the motions.  Spiritual disciplines become mundane and something I do just because I should.  God is more like a genie in a bottle instead of my Abba Father.  Clearly, heartless sacrifice means nothing to the Lord. 

A couple of years ago, I read a book that touched my heart deeply.  It was the story of Harriett Tubman, or "Moses" as they called her.   After gaining her own freedom, she chose to return back to the land of slavery so that she could lead others to freedom.  She never viewed her freedom as an opportunity to serve herself.  She knew she'd been set free to serve others.  Free to serve.  It's the way I want to live my life.  During Lent this year, I don't want to simply go through the motions.  I want to stand in this freedom that Jesus has given me and be more intentional when it comes to serving others.  May the truth that I have been set free to serve run deep within my heart, and may the call to lead others to freedom not be silenced. 


For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.  (Galatians 5:13 ESV)

Not on the Bucket List!

Ever wonder why you're doing what you're doing?  For over a year now, I've been working on a writing project, and all along the way I've wrestled with this question.  I'm not a published author, and I still find it quite uncomfortable to call myself a writer.  Yet, writing is what I've been doing a lot of lately.  Actually, journaling was my passion for many years.  It was safe.  No one read what I wrote, no one except the Lord but that was okay.  I knew my heart was safe in His hands.  In January 2011, God gently nudged me to move beyond journaling.  It was time to bear witness to all that God had done in my life.  So I dug out all the journals and embarked upon writing a memoir.  Honestly, undertaking such a task was never on my bucket list of things to do, yet obeying the Lord's leading was important to me, so I wrote.  Many tears were shed in the process.  Tears of joy and some of heartache.  Richard and I had a few good laughs too remembering some of the stupid things we've done over the years.   It was actually quite therapeutic to reflect upon God's goodness.

I finished writing the book at the beginning of this year and recently sent it off to be edited.  I've not gotten it back yet, and I'm a bit apprehensive to see all the red marks covering the pages.  However, I know it is the next step in the process.  The refining stage of writing is important because I want all that I do to be done well.  Remaining teachable and willing to make needed changes to the project is important.  All along the way, I have had to remind myself that God has called me to do this.  Penning down the story in a journal where no one will read is one thing; putting it out there for all to see is another.  At times, I would lay the project down for fear of what might happen as a result.  What if people don't like me anymore?  What if something I've written isn't theologically correct?  What if I tell a story that steps on someones toes?  What if my words are confusing?  The dreaded "what ifs" that I know not to ask but still do.  Never could I set my computer aside for long though because God was always there to remind me to press on.

I often pray for the Lord to establish the work of my hands, and it seems He has these hands writing.  Now that the memoir is almost complete, I'm asking the Lord what He wants me to focus on next.  This coming weekend, Richard and I will be attending a writer's conference.  The program director encouraged us all to remember that we've been called to write.  CALLED.   Words that I had to read and re-read.  It's funny how sometimes the very things we end up doing in life are the things we would have never chosen for ourselves to do.  Teaching was that way for me.  Never in a million years would I have agreed to teach a class in the early days of my marriage, now I pray for the Lord to open the door for opportunities to teach.  I'm doing the same with writing too.  Wonders never cease.  I'm still not comfortable with calling myself a writer, but I do know how to answer that question of why I'm doing what I'm doing when it plagues my thoughts.  Because, God has called me.

"For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago."  (Ephesians 2:10 NLT)

Guardrails

Reading through the law can be grueling.  There's so many do's and dont's, it makes my head spin.  Why in the world would God the Father put such expectations on His people?  Because He loved them!  There just can't be any other explanation, for God is love.  Paul writes in Galatians 3:19 (TM), "The purpose of the law was to keep a sinful people in the way of salvation until Christ came."  To keep a sinful people in the way of salvation!  From the beginning of time, God intended to send His Son to save His people, but until that day came God graciously provided some guidelines to help His children stay on the way. 

As a parent, this is helpful to read.  In a world where darkness abounds, it is our responsibility to come alongside our kids and help them stay on the way.  I recently heard a speaker refer to house rules being like guardrails on a highway.  Those guardrails are there to keep a car from going over the edge of a road.  We all know what a mess it would be if a car actually flew over the edge.  It would be devastating!  What an ugly mess there'd be to clean up, not to mention probable death to all those in the car.  So as parents, we too must establish guardrails.  Love must be the motivation though.  Not control, not pride, not anger . . . only love. 

I did chuckle when I read the Israelites response, "We will do everything the Lord has commanded.  We will obey." (Exodus 24:7 NLT)  I get this mental picture of the little blue and green aliens in Toy Story 2 that kept following Mr. Potato Head around saying, "You have saved our lives, we are eternally grateful."  The Israelites wanted to obey.  The Red Sea had just been parted and the bonds of slavery  shattered.  I'm sure they were extremely grateful.  However, obedience wasn't easy and time after time their flesh would prevail.  Yet God's grace would abound and those guardrails remained to help them.

I want love to motivate all that I do as a parent and grace to be abundant in our home.  It is a daily prayer of mine right now.  Love is tough sometimes.  I used to balk at the concept of "tough love".  Naively I thought, if I train my kids in the right way, their response will be like those aliens, "You have saved our lives, we are eternally grateful."  That would be music to my ears at first, yet like Mr. Potato Head I'd eventually get tired of that heartless robotic reply.  My children have a body, a soul, and a spirit that is unique to themselves.  Growing up involves discovering who they are and who they want to be.  Inevitably, there's going to be a lot of bumps and bruises along the way.  The guardrails are there because they are loved, and grace abounds to help them get back up when they do fall down.  Every parent I've talked to wants their kids to go through life unscathed, so we do our best to help them.  Ultimately though, there comes a time when our children must stand on their own two feet.  Injuries can become the tools our Father uses to shape them.  Parents need to be arrows that point to Jesus, for He is our sure foundation. Just as the guardrails must stem from a heart of love, so should obedience.  It's a shift in all of our hearts that needs to take place.  We obey not because we want to be loved but because we ARE!  That's freeing for me as a child of God and it gives me hope as a parent.

Who am I?

"And the Lord said to Moses, "So now, GO. I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt.” But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?”  (Exodus 3:10-11)

"Moses said to the LORD, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.”  The LORD said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the LORD?  Now GO; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.” But Moses said, “Pardon your servant, Lord. Please send someone else.”  (Exodus 4:10-13)

Sound familiar?  I can easily put my name in the place of Moses and hear this discourse taking place between the Lord and I.  "Who am I, Lord? Please send someone else."  Just yesterday morning, I was disagreeing with Richard over leading a certain song at chapel, yet in truth in the back of my head I was arguing with God.  It's not the first time I've argued with God.  My thoughts often go in this direction:  "I'm a nobody, Lord.  My talents are few.  My education is lacking. I don't have any huge accomplishments or successes to make note of.  Someone else can surely do this better."  Thankfully, God always steps in to remind me that I am His.  Remembering who I am in Christ enables me to stand tall.  Next, I'm usually plagued with fearful thoughts.  Sometimes I try to mask it as humility, but in truth it's just plain fear. "Oh Lord, not me.  I'm not good with words.  What if I mess things up.  Use someone else, please!"  Yet, this is wrong too.  Fear is crippling.  God didn't give us a spirit of fear, and when I can remember that He is in me, I am empowered to do what He has asked me to because I know I'm not doing it in my own strength.  Hudson Taylor says, "God does not call the equipped.  He equips the called!"  Knowing who I am in Christ Jesus, and who He is in me equips me to step out in obedience and say . . . Yes, Lord, Yes to Your will and to Your way.  Yes, Lord, Yes. I will trust You and obey.  When Your Spirit speaks to me, with my whole heart I'll agree, and my answer will be Yes, Lord, Yes! (Gotta love those old camp choruses!!!)

  
        He who calls you is faithful; He will surely do it. (1 Thess. 5:24 ESV)

How Long, O Lord?

Reading through Job is neither easy nor fun.  Yesterday,  my mind contemplated skipping to the end where restoration and redemption abounded.  Yet in order to grasp the whole picture, I had to press on.

"Why doesn't the Almighty open the court and bring judgment? Why must the godly wait for him in vain? Evil people steal land by moving the boundary markers. They steal flocks of sheep, and they even take donkeys from the poor and fatherless. A poor widow must surrender her valuable ox as collateral for a loan. The poor are kicked aside; the needy must hide together for safety . . . The groans of the dying rise from the city, and the wounded cry for help, yet God does not respond to their moaning . . . The murderer rises in the early dawn to kill the poor and needy . . . the adulterer waits for twilight and says 'No one will see me' " (Job. 24:1-4, 12, 14-15)

Not the most comforting words to read in the morning, as I sit with my coffee cup in hand and look for words of life to feed my soul.  Why isn't God bringing justice?   Why does He allow suffering?  Oh I've asked it so many times myself.  My bathroom floor is oftentimes where I end up when the tears flow most freely and the cries of my heart are laced with why.  Sorrow grips my heart when I hear stories of abuse, rejection, and loss.  There are moments I find it hard to even do the next thing when I reflect upon my own daughter's pain, which is steeped in lies regarding her beauty and worth.  In my despair, I have said many times, "How long, O Lord?" 

Today, as I pick up where I left off, with coffee in hand, words of life do indeed break through, "And this is what God says to all humanity, 'The fear of the Lord is true wisdom.'" (Job 28:28)  It amazes me that in the midst of despair, Job comes back to this.  In the beginning when he lost it all, he did not curse God, and as the days passed and his grief deepened, he kept coming back to revering the Lord.  God in His infinite wisdom had to see and know something that Job didn't.  All this suffering had to somehow make sense to the Almighty, and Job was not going to let up until his case would be heard.   The enemy was convinced that Job would crumble when all was stripped away, yet God knew Job would endure.  God knew!  Wisdom would prevail, and Job would be restored.

Oh Lord, You know!  When all seems lost and words fail, this is how I can get back up and keep going.  The tears shed on my bathroom floor are not in vain.  The why questions that plague my heart are heard by the Almighty, and I find the peace and strength I need to press on.

He knows where I am going. And when he tests me, I will come out as pure as gold!  (Job 23:10)

The New Fish

The New Fish

  By: Audrey Fish (age 7)

Once upon a time there was a family that wanted to adopt a baby. So they went to Thailand to be Missionaries. They had a friend that knew a woman that was pregnant and could not take care of the baby. So the Fish’s prayed for the woman. Then the Fish’s went to an orphanage to see other babies. They saw a little girl that had no parents only nannies. So they talked to the nannies about the girl. The nannies said her name was Mekala. The Fish family went back home to eat dinner. The next day the Fish’s came to a church to meet the mother of the baby. The mother of the baby said the baby was a girl. That afternoon the Fish family went back to the orphanage to see Mekala again. They noticed that she went back to her family. So the Fish’s went back home to do other stuff. They prayed and asked Jesus, “Do you want us to adopt this baby?” The next day they decided to go to the lady's house. When they got there the lady said, “Will you adopt my baby?” The Fish’s said, “Yes.” So the next day the Fish’s went to Nakon Nayok with their friend. It was a flood outside. The Fish’s waited for the mother and the baby a long time. And then finally they came and the mother kissed the baby goodbye and put the baby in Mrs. Fish’s arms. Mrs. Fish cried. The baby looked up at her and smiled. The baby knew that she got a new family. The Fish’s named the baby Audrey Napah Fish. The years passed by and one day when Audrey was five she asked her mother, “Can you tell me my birth story?” The mother told her the story and when the story was over Audrey asked her mother, “When will I see my birth mother again?” Her mother said I don’t know. Audrey wanted to see her birth mother. She knew some day she’d get to see her again.

The End.  

Worth the Wait!

I love Joseph's story.  I especially love how the Lord works all the difficult for good in the end, but the length of time it took for the good to come about really struck me as I recently read this very familiar narrative.  Years passed as a rejected brother, then there was the long season as Potiphar's slave, and then finally even more years in the Egyptian prison.  How difficult this must have been?  After Joseph interpreted the cup-bearer's dream, Joseph asked that his name be mentioned to Pharaoh.  Here was a  God-given opportunity to finally get on with his life, but sadly, Joseph was forgotten by the cup-bearer.  FORGOTTEN, the Scriptures say!  Two more years would pass in that lonely prison cell before his name would be remembered and mentioned to Pharaoh.  I tried to envision what that would have been like.  All those long seasons of waiting had to have been torturous at times.  His mind probably often traveled back to those early days when he dreamed dreams.  What good had those dreams been, for he was now separated from the family that he loved, locked away in a prison cell, and forgotten.  Can you relate?  I can.

I've never been locked away in a literal prison cell, but sometimes those steel bars, though invisible to the eye, can clearly be seen in my heart, leaving me immobile and feeling forgotten.  It's in these times of waiting that my faith has been tried the most.  Every time the Lord speaks a Word or gives a dream, encouraging me to believe and step out, there's always a season of waiting.  Sometimes the wait period is short and other times it is painfully long.  Always I am left wondering if I had really heard from Him and asking, "Hadn't You promised, Lord?"  In these moments, only the shield of faith can help me to conquer those fiery darts that the enemy throws at me.

Thankfully, Joseph's story has an ending.  I'm so glad we weren't left to wonder what happened to that awestruck dreamer.  We clearly see in the story that God had not forgotten Joseph nor his dreams. What was intended for evil, God worked for good and many lives were saved as a result.  If we asked Joseph today if it had been worth the wait, I am confident he would have said, "Yes!  A thousand times, YES!"  I needed this reminder this week.  There are some things I've been praying about for years now.  Words of promise I have been believing, yet I remain waiting.  Family and friends I long to see free, dreams yet to be fulfilled, closure to important issues, and more.  I must admit, there are days I wonder if God will ever do what He has promised.  I get tired of waiting and feel forgotten.  God must think I'm a broken record, always laying before Him these concerns.  Then I remember that His Word will not return void!  God will do what He has promised.  His ways, His thoughts are not my own.  They are better . . . infinitely better!  So I will keep waiting and believing, for someday my eyes will see.

"Then Jesus said, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?" (John 11:40)