A New Day Will Come

"I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer . . . Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something."          (Sam from Lord of the Rings)

After watching The Hobbit in theaters recently, I was enthralled by Middle Earth once again and compelled to watch Lord of the Rings.  In each movie of the trilogy, the devastation was quite intense (to the point that in some of the scenes I had to shield my eyes), but I am always moved by how good prevailed.  Frodo, Sam, and the Fellowship of the ring faced much darkness on their path to freedom, yet just when one would think all hope was lost, good would shine through. 

Watching these movies at this time in my life was purposeful, I believe.  The message of hope threaded throughout this story is one I needed to hear right now.  Physical ailments, concerns for my kids, financial needs, hurting friends and family, and the continual waiting on issues that have long been laid at my Lord's feet have weighed heavy on my heart in recent days.  Lord, will this darkness ever pass?  And then I hear a hobbit say, "A new day will come."  

In Revelation, Jesus said this too, "Behold, I am making all things new.  It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end.  To the thirsty I will give from the spring of water of life without payment.  The one who conquers will have this heritage, and I will be his God and he will be my son."  (Rev. 21: 5-7)  I read these words and hope wells up in my heart.  It is done!  The Author of Life has not forsaken.  This present darkness will be but a vague remembrance in the days to come.  Oh, praise His name.  There are lots of opportunities along the way to turn back.  I cannot lie.  Some days I want to pack up and leave it all behind, and on especially dark mornings, I long to pull the covers over my head and not face the day at all.  Yet, this cannot be.  With Jesus, I can and must press on, for He will make all things new.

"Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes in the morning."  (Psalm 30:5)

 Lord, thank you for promising to make all things new.  Your promise gives me hope and the strength to keep running this race.  Help me to hold on to You every step of the way. 

"Are You the One?"

"Now when John heard in prison about the deeds of the Christ, he sent word by his disciples and said to him, 'Are you the one who is to come or shall we look for another?'"  (Matthew 11:2-3)

What an unusual question from one who had baptized Jesus. Hadn't John seen the dove descend and heard the voice that proclaimed Jesus to be the beloved Son of God.  However, now he was asking, "Are you the one...?"  It's probably safe to say that prison wasn't on John's bucket list of adventures for his life. The Messiah had come to save and set free. Would he not rescue John from these chains? Yet, the days passed with no sign of deliverance.  No doubt John found solstice in these words of the psalmist long ago,

"How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day?  How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?  Consider and answer me, O Lord my God; light up my eyes lest I sleep the sleep of death, lest my enemy say, I have prevailed over him; lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.  But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.  I will sing to the Lord because he has dealt bountifully with me." (Psalm 13)

"How long, O Lord? How long, will you hide your face?" Words I have cried out on my bathroom floor many times.  Waiting on the Lord is hard. Life happens, and I long for the Lord to rescue, to heal, to save. As time passes, my eyes tend to grow dim and my heart starts to despair, and I too begin to ask, "Are you the one?" Jesus didn't answer John's question with a simple "Yes, I am." Instead he made reference to lives being changed, "...the blind receive sight and the lame walk, lepers are cleansed and the deaf hear, and the dead are raised up and the poor have good news preached to them." John had to decide for himself if Jesus was the Christ. We all do. When things don't go as we want, when our prayers for deliverance or healing aren't answered as we desire, will we still believe? Will we trust in His steadfast love? 

As the story goes, John ended up dying in prison, and his head was served up on a platter for guests at a party to gaze upon. What a ghastly sight that must have been. Not the happily ever after ending we all like to read. It'd be easy to think that God had failed John that day and the enemy had won. Yet, something tells me John chose to believe, even as he drew his last breath. Jesus never promised that believing in Him would shield us from life's difficulties, but He did promise that in the midst of them we would not be alone and in the end we would be saved.

Once again, Lord, I am challenged to trust your steadfast love. You know what is best.  Help me to believe this truth in the very core of my being. Light up my eyes, Lord. Be my vision.  

10,000 Reasons by Matt Redman
Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name

The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning
It's time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes

You're rich in love, and You're slow to anger
Your name is great, and Your heart is kind
For all Your goodness I will keep on singing
Ten thousand reasons for my heart to find

And on that day when my strength is failing
The end draws near and my time has come
Still my soul will sing Your praise unending
Ten thousand years and then forevermore

When Things Seem Wrong

Enoch lived sixty-five years, and became the father of Methuselah.  Then Enoch walked with God three hundred years after he became the father of Methuselah, and he had other sons and daughters. So all the days of Enoch were three hundred and sixty-five years. Enoch walked with God; and he was not, for God took him.  (Genesis 5:21-24)

Recently I attended a small group leaders meeting led by my husband.  We were challenged to embark upon the Enoch Revolution this year, which in a nutshell means to be dedicated and intentional in our pursuit of knowing and imitating Jesus. Not much is said in Scripture about Enoch, but we do know he walked with God. Interestingly, his very name's meaning revealed the kind of man he would grow up to be. Yet as I reflected upon this passage something struck me to be odd. Why did God take him up in his prime? Men were living to be over nine hundred years old, yet Enoch was taken at three hundred and sixty-five years old. His family must have grieved over this untimely loss. Wouldn’t it have been better for him to stay longer and walk out his faith before others?  Think of the people who would have been impacted by Enoch’s witness if he had lived another six hundred years. His being taken seemed to be out of place and a waste to me, yet the story reveals this was no mistake.  God, Himself, took him. The Almighty did not intend for Enoch to live longer in order to be a witness to others. Instead, it pleased God to take him and transform a walk of faith into sight. 

This small section of Scripture challenges me to live intentionally as I walk with God, but it also reveals to me the sovereignty of God. His infinite wisdom is far greater than my finite mind will ever be, and His timing is always perfect.  Will I trust Him this year when things happen that don’t make sense or seem out of place?  I want to because God is worthy of such trust!

Lord, I pray that 2013 would be marked with a deeper level of intimacy and trust in You.  When things seem all wrong, help me to walk with You and rest in Your sovereign plan. 

God's Word Dispels the Darkness

“My life dissolves and weeps itself away for heaviness; raise me up and strengthen me according to [the promises of] Your word.”     (Psalm 119:28 Amplified)

It was dark outside as I lay in bed staring at the ceiling.  I hadn’t slept much that night, so I longed to fall into a deep sleep, but instead I seemed to only fall into a pit of despair.  Anxious thoughts flooded my mind and worry gripped my heart.  With heaviness mounting, I lay in bed and wept. 

Deciding to fight sleep no more, I retreated to my chair in the corner of the room and opened my Bible. These are the very first words I read, “Don’t worry about a thing.” (1 Samuel 17:32)  I sat there and stared at the words.  I could hardly believe what I had just read.  Don’t worry about a thing!  Tears of joy started to flow freely down my cheeks.  God wasn’t chastising me (although He rightly could have).  Instead, He gently lifted me up and strengthened me with His word. 

I am so very thankful for the Bible.  Years ago, when depression plagued me, I pleaded with God to open my eyes to the truth.  Darkness abounded within, and I needed the Lord to set me free.  I had never been a student of His word, but I was determined to draw closer to God.  In order to really know His heart, I had to dig into the Scriptures.  As I did, I asked the Holy Spirit to teach me, which is a prayer He graciously answered and continues to answer.  I can’t really keep thoughts of fear and worry from coming into my mind, but I do have a choice what I will do with them.  So on that particular morning after a night of unrest, I chose to believe God’s word and not worry any more.  As I laid my cares at His feet, a peace settled deep into my heart because I knew He would be true to His word. 

Abba, I thank you for the Scriptures.  When darkness clouds my way, Your word always dispels the darkness.  As the Psalmists prayed, I too pray, Lord, teach me Your statutes.  Open my eyes to behold wonderful things in Your word, and may this craving for You and Your word never die. 

Sight Vs. Faith

 In those days Israel had no king; all the people did whatever seemed right in their own eyes.     (Judges 21:25 NLT)
 

     As I approached the courtroom, it surprised me to see the amount of people standing there. When the doors opened and the people pushed through to take a seat, I began to realize my friend would not be the only one standing before a judge that day. A heavy, forlorn mood filled the courtroom as we waited for the judge to arrive. As this man of great stature entered the room and we all stood, it was clear people knew their fate lay in his hands.  Case after case presented daunting facts.  Stories of armed robbery, embezzling, drug distribution, and offenses against the innocent gripped my heart.  Why had these individuals resorted to crime?    

     The book of Judges holds the answer I believe, for the stories shared in that book weren’t much different than the ones I heard that day at the courthouse. “All the people did whatever seemed right in their own eyes.”  People were walking by sight and not by faith.  Occasionally when life got difficult they looked to the Lord to get them out of the messes they’d made, but for the most part they just did whatever felt right in the moment. Proverbs 14:12 says,  “There’s a way that seems right to man, but in the end it leads to death”   DEATH!  Death isn’t always physical.  For those in the courtroom that day, death of dreams and hopes took place.  Life would never be the same. 

     There are days I'm guilty of walking by sight.  With my rational mind, I want to understand and figure things out.  I grow weary of waiting on the Lord.  Convicted by my own lack of courage,  I hear my Lord beckoning me to deny myself, take up my cross, and follow Him up Golgotha.  For that dreaded climb up the hill opened the doors to new life.  In faith, Jesus abandoned himself completely to the will of the Father.  His fortitude amazes me.  His love leaves me speechless.  Walking by faith isn’t easy, yet it gives me joy to know I have a King who died and conquered death for me. 

Jesus, thank you for dying so that I can live.  You are the Author and Perfecter of my faith.  Help me Lord to trust You with every fiber that is within me.  And Lord, send me to others who need to know You as King.

An Imperative I Can't Ignore

“I command you—be strong and courageous!  Do not be afraid or discouraged.  For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”  (Joshua 1:9 NLT)

While staring at the blank intimidating screen, my heart sank with discouragement.  “This is too hard, Lord,” I thought as I typed and deleted countless words.  One little comment from a critique to make my words more lively had crushed my spirit, and I didn’t want to continue any more.  You would have thought I was facing a whole army of terrifying Orcs by the way I fretted.  The longer I sat and stared at my computer, the more fearful I became.  It’s ridiculous I know, but then again fear and discouragement don’t always make sense.  For days I waited for the Lord to say, “It’s okay, Amy, you don’t have to do this anymore if you don’t want to.”  Instead, He said, “Be strong and courageous.”

Discouragement is debilitating.  Once my mind starts feeding on negative thoughts, I’m wasted.  Nothing profitable comes forth when despair takes over. Maybe that’s why the Lord gave this command.  He didn’t say to Joshua to try not to be afraid or discouraged.  He said, “Don’t be!”  Imperatives hold a lot of weight.  God knew the giants that would be encountered along the way.  It was a life or death matter.  There was no room for fear and despair.  However, the command wasn’t the last word spoken.  The Lord went on to promise Joshua he would not be alone.  We cannot muster strength and courage on our own.  It is only by God’s grace and presence we can face the giants before us.

More of You, less of me is my prayer today.  May the Lord find me faithful to trust Him and obey no matter what lies before me.

Whatever Orcs you are facing, be strong and courageous dear friends, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

More of You, Less of me

Lyrics by: Amy 2001

Jesus, help me to live each day surrendered only to You

I can’t walk the way I want to

My body is weak and my mind is full

My feet stumble and my words they come out cruel

Jesus, help me to live each day surrendered only to You

(chorus)

More of You, less of me is what I pray

Help me abandon every wicked way

Take me Lord, break me Lord; I’m Yours today

More of You, less of me

More of You, less of me I pray

Jesus, help me to live each day surrendered only to You

I can’t think straight and I am confused

Doubt and fear, well they tend to get me down

The dark surrounds me and I feel like I might drown

Jesus, help me to each day surrendered only to You

(ending)

I can’t carry this burden, and I know You don’t want me to

You say, “Come unto Me; I will take care of you”

So here I am Lord, falling on my knees

Ready to surrender, wanting to be free

Here I am Lord, falling on my knees

Ready to surrender, wanting to be free

Silent!

"But the Lord said to Moses, 'Because you did not trust Me enough to demonstrate my holiness to the people of Israel, you will not lead them into the land I am giving them!"  (Numbers 20:12  NLT)

Ever wish you could do a day over?  If Moses could have done anything over in his life, I wonder if it would have been this day.  The great hero of our faith had seen the burning bush and stood on holy ground.  He had witnessed the ten unprecedented plagues and walked on dry soil through the Red Sea.  The glory of God radiated before him when God's laws were entrusted into his hands.  There are few in Scripture we esteem more than Moses himself.  Yet on this day, those awesome acts of power didn't make a difference when he struck the rock instead of speaking to it.  Disobedience stemming from distrust changed everything.

There are days I wish I could hit the rewind button.  One moment in particular stands out.  As I drove my car to band practice one night, God spoke to me in a vision, which transformed my life, but with that vision came the command to be silent.  I disobeyed.  Circumstances and feelings dictated my behavior instead of God's instructions.  I speculated far too much and shared things with people that only brought confusion and division.  As a result, the ramifications were devastating.  Friendships ended, and the ministry my husband and I were leading changed.  My heart was broken.  If only I had trusted and obeyed, things would have been different.  I knew God forgave me, but it took a long time to forgive myself.

It's been years since those difficult days, and God's grace has enabled my heart to taste and see His goodness.   As I sat in my chair this morning and reflected on Moses's disobedience, I remembered the time I too distrusted.  The dark valley that followed was great, yet God's grace was greater and His love permitted me to climb heights I didn't even know existed.  If Moses could do it all over again, I don't think he would.  For it's in weakness we become strong.  Moses had seen God's power shake the mountains, but it was His love and grace that transformed his life, equipping Him to be God's vessel.

When all seems lost and you long for a do-over, look to Jesus and abide in His love.  He makes all things new!

Abba, Your grace amazes me.  Thank you for forgiving me.  I don't like the fact that I disobeyed You.  It grieves my heart to think about it, but I'm learning that where sin abounds, Your grace abounds even more.  Help me to abide in You, Lord, and empower me to trust and obey.

Free to Serve

You humble yourselves by going through the motions of penance, bowing your heads like reeds bending in the wind.  You dress in burlap and cover yourselves with ashes.  Is this what you call fasting?  Do you really think this will please the Lord?  This is the kind of fasting I want:  Free those who are wrongly imprisoned; lighten the burden of those who work for you.  Let the oppressed go free, and remove the chains that bind people.  Share your food with the hungry, and give shelter to the homeless. Give clothes to those who need them, and do not hide from relatives who need your help. Then your salvation will come like the dawn, and your wounds will quickly heal.  Your godliness will lead you forward, and the glory of the Lord will protect you from behind.  Then when you call, the Lord will answer. ‘Yes, I am here,’ he will quickly reply.  Remove the heavy yoke of oppression.  Stop pointing your finger and spreading vicious rumors!  Feed the hungry, and help those in trouble. Then your light will shine out from the darkness, and the darkness around you will be as bright as noon.   (Isaiah 58:5-10 NLT)  

On this Ash Wednesday, as I consider what I should "give up" so that I can cling to the Lord more, I keep coming back to these words in Isaiah.  Ashes and sackcloth meant nothing to the Lord if a person was only "going through the motions".  Words that cut to the quick, honestly.  Sometimes I catch myself going through the motions.  Spiritual disciplines become mundane and something I do just because I should.  God is more like a genie in a bottle instead of my Abba Father.  Clearly, heartless sacrifice means nothing to the Lord. 

A couple of years ago, I read a book that touched my heart deeply.  It was the story of Harriett Tubman, or "Moses" as they called her.   After gaining her own freedom, she chose to return back to the land of slavery so that she could lead others to freedom.  She never viewed her freedom as an opportunity to serve herself.  She knew she'd been set free to serve others.  Free to serve.  It's the way I want to live my life.  During Lent this year, I don't want to simply go through the motions.  I want to stand in this freedom that Jesus has given me and be more intentional when it comes to serving others.  May the truth that I have been set free to serve run deep within my heart, and may the call to lead others to freedom not be silenced. 


For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.  (Galatians 5:13 ESV)

Not on the Bucket List!

Ever wonder why you're doing what you're doing?  For over a year now, I've been working on a writing project, and all along the way I've wrestled with this question.  I'm not a published author, and I still find it quite uncomfortable to call myself a writer.  Yet, writing is what I've been doing a lot of lately.  Actually, journaling was my passion for many years.  It was safe.  No one read what I wrote, no one except the Lord but that was okay.  I knew my heart was safe in His hands.  In January 2011, God gently nudged me to move beyond journaling.  It was time to bear witness to all that God had done in my life.  So I dug out all the journals and embarked upon writing a memoir.  Honestly, undertaking such a task was never on my bucket list of things to do, yet obeying the Lord's leading was important to me, so I wrote.  Many tears were shed in the process.  Tears of joy and some of heartache.  Richard and I had a few good laughs too remembering some of the stupid things we've done over the years.   It was actually quite therapeutic to reflect upon God's goodness.

I finished writing the book at the beginning of this year and recently sent it off to be edited.  I've not gotten it back yet, and I'm a bit apprehensive to see all the red marks covering the pages.  However, I know it is the next step in the process.  The refining stage of writing is important because I want all that I do to be done well.  Remaining teachable and willing to make needed changes to the project is important.  All along the way, I have had to remind myself that God has called me to do this.  Penning down the story in a journal where no one will read is one thing; putting it out there for all to see is another.  At times, I would lay the project down for fear of what might happen as a result.  What if people don't like me anymore?  What if something I've written isn't theologically correct?  What if I tell a story that steps on someones toes?  What if my words are confusing?  The dreaded "what ifs" that I know not to ask but still do.  Never could I set my computer aside for long though because God was always there to remind me to press on.

I often pray for the Lord to establish the work of my hands, and it seems He has these hands writing.  Now that the memoir is almost complete, I'm asking the Lord what He wants me to focus on next.  This coming weekend, Richard and I will be attending a writer's conference.  The program director encouraged us all to remember that we've been called to write.  CALLED.   Words that I had to read and re-read.  It's funny how sometimes the very things we end up doing in life are the things we would have never chosen for ourselves to do.  Teaching was that way for me.  Never in a million years would I have agreed to teach a class in the early days of my marriage, now I pray for the Lord to open the door for opportunities to teach.  I'm doing the same with writing too.  Wonders never cease.  I'm still not comfortable with calling myself a writer, but I do know how to answer that question of why I'm doing what I'm doing when it plagues my thoughts.  Because, God has called me.

"For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago."  (Ephesians 2:10 NLT)

Guardrails

Reading through the law can be grueling.  There's so many do's and dont's, it makes my head spin.  Why in the world would God the Father put such expectations on His people?  Because He loved them!  There just can't be any other explanation, for God is love.  Paul writes in Galatians 3:19 (TM), "The purpose of the law was to keep a sinful people in the way of salvation until Christ came."  To keep a sinful people in the way of salvation!  From the beginning of time, God intended to send His Son to save His people, but until that day came God graciously provided some guidelines to help His children stay on the way. 

As a parent, this is helpful to read.  In a world where darkness abounds, it is our responsibility to come alongside our kids and help them stay on the way.  I recently heard a speaker refer to house rules being like guardrails on a highway.  Those guardrails are there to keep a car from going over the edge of a road.  We all know what a mess it would be if a car actually flew over the edge.  It would be devastating!  What an ugly mess there'd be to clean up, not to mention probable death to all those in the car.  So as parents, we too must establish guardrails.  Love must be the motivation though.  Not control, not pride, not anger . . . only love. 

I did chuckle when I read the Israelites response, "We will do everything the Lord has commanded.  We will obey." (Exodus 24:7 NLT)  I get this mental picture of the little blue and green aliens in Toy Story 2 that kept following Mr. Potato Head around saying, "You have saved our lives, we are eternally grateful."  The Israelites wanted to obey.  The Red Sea had just been parted and the bonds of slavery  shattered.  I'm sure they were extremely grateful.  However, obedience wasn't easy and time after time their flesh would prevail.  Yet God's grace would abound and those guardrails remained to help them.

I want love to motivate all that I do as a parent and grace to be abundant in our home.  It is a daily prayer of mine right now.  Love is tough sometimes.  I used to balk at the concept of "tough love".  Naively I thought, if I train my kids in the right way, their response will be like those aliens, "You have saved our lives, we are eternally grateful."  That would be music to my ears at first, yet like Mr. Potato Head I'd eventually get tired of that heartless robotic reply.  My children have a body, a soul, and a spirit that is unique to themselves.  Growing up involves discovering who they are and who they want to be.  Inevitably, there's going to be a lot of bumps and bruises along the way.  The guardrails are there because they are loved, and grace abounds to help them get back up when they do fall down.  Every parent I've talked to wants their kids to go through life unscathed, so we do our best to help them.  Ultimately though, there comes a time when our children must stand on their own two feet.  Injuries can become the tools our Father uses to shape them.  Parents need to be arrows that point to Jesus, for He is our sure foundation. Just as the guardrails must stem from a heart of love, so should obedience.  It's a shift in all of our hearts that needs to take place.  We obey not because we want to be loved but because we ARE!  That's freeing for me as a child of God and it gives me hope as a parent.

Who am I?

"And the Lord said to Moses, "So now, GO. I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt.” But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?”  (Exodus 3:10-11)

"Moses said to the LORD, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.”  The LORD said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the LORD?  Now GO; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.” But Moses said, “Pardon your servant, Lord. Please send someone else.”  (Exodus 4:10-13)

Sound familiar?  I can easily put my name in the place of Moses and hear this discourse taking place between the Lord and I.  "Who am I, Lord? Please send someone else."  Just yesterday morning, I was disagreeing with Richard over leading a certain song at chapel, yet in truth in the back of my head I was arguing with God.  It's not the first time I've argued with God.  My thoughts often go in this direction:  "I'm a nobody, Lord.  My talents are few.  My education is lacking. I don't have any huge accomplishments or successes to make note of.  Someone else can surely do this better."  Thankfully, God always steps in to remind me that I am His.  Remembering who I am in Christ enables me to stand tall.  Next, I'm usually plagued with fearful thoughts.  Sometimes I try to mask it as humility, but in truth it's just plain fear. "Oh Lord, not me.  I'm not good with words.  What if I mess things up.  Use someone else, please!"  Yet, this is wrong too.  Fear is crippling.  God didn't give us a spirit of fear, and when I can remember that He is in me, I am empowered to do what He has asked me to because I know I'm not doing it in my own strength.  Hudson Taylor says, "God does not call the equipped.  He equips the called!"  Knowing who I am in Christ Jesus, and who He is in me equips me to step out in obedience and say . . . Yes, Lord, Yes to Your will and to Your way.  Yes, Lord, Yes. I will trust You and obey.  When Your Spirit speaks to me, with my whole heart I'll agree, and my answer will be Yes, Lord, Yes! (Gotta love those old camp choruses!!!)

  
        He who calls you is faithful; He will surely do it. (1 Thess. 5:24 ESV)

How Long, O Lord?

Reading through Job is neither easy nor fun.  Yesterday,  my mind contemplated skipping to the end where restoration and redemption abounded.  Yet in order to grasp the whole picture, I had to press on.

"Why doesn't the Almighty open the court and bring judgment? Why must the godly wait for him in vain? Evil people steal land by moving the boundary markers. They steal flocks of sheep, and they even take donkeys from the poor and fatherless. A poor widow must surrender her valuable ox as collateral for a loan. The poor are kicked aside; the needy must hide together for safety . . . The groans of the dying rise from the city, and the wounded cry for help, yet God does not respond to their moaning . . . The murderer rises in the early dawn to kill the poor and needy . . . the adulterer waits for twilight and says 'No one will see me' " (Job. 24:1-4, 12, 14-15)

Not the most comforting words to read in the morning, as I sit with my coffee cup in hand and look for words of life to feed my soul.  Why isn't God bringing justice?   Why does He allow suffering?  Oh I've asked it so many times myself.  My bathroom floor is oftentimes where I end up when the tears flow most freely and the cries of my heart are laced with why.  Sorrow grips my heart when I hear stories of abuse, rejection, and loss.  There are moments I find it hard to even do the next thing when I reflect upon my own daughter's pain, which is steeped in lies regarding her beauty and worth.  In my despair, I have said many times, "How long, O Lord?" 

Today, as I pick up where I left off, with coffee in hand, words of life do indeed break through, "And this is what God says to all humanity, 'The fear of the Lord is true wisdom.'" (Job 28:28)  It amazes me that in the midst of despair, Job comes back to this.  In the beginning when he lost it all, he did not curse God, and as the days passed and his grief deepened, he kept coming back to revering the Lord.  God in His infinite wisdom had to see and know something that Job didn't.  All this suffering had to somehow make sense to the Almighty, and Job was not going to let up until his case would be heard.   The enemy was convinced that Job would crumble when all was stripped away, yet God knew Job would endure.  God knew!  Wisdom would prevail, and Job would be restored.

Oh Lord, You know!  When all seems lost and words fail, this is how I can get back up and keep going.  The tears shed on my bathroom floor are not in vain.  The why questions that plague my heart are heard by the Almighty, and I find the peace and strength I need to press on.

He knows where I am going. And when he tests me, I will come out as pure as gold!  (Job 23:10)

The New Fish

The New Fish

  By: Audrey Fish (age 7)

Once upon a time there was a family that wanted to adopt a baby. So they went to Thailand to be Missionaries. They had a friend that knew a woman that was pregnant and could not take care of the baby. So the Fish’s prayed for the woman. Then the Fish’s went to an orphanage to see other babies. They saw a little girl that had no parents only nannies. So they talked to the nannies about the girl. The nannies said her name was Mekala. The Fish family went back home to eat dinner. The next day the Fish’s came to a church to meet the mother of the baby. The mother of the baby said the baby was a girl. That afternoon the Fish family went back to the orphanage to see Mekala again. They noticed that she went back to her family. So the Fish’s went back home to do other stuff. They prayed and asked Jesus, “Do you want us to adopt this baby?” The next day they decided to go to the lady's house. When they got there the lady said, “Will you adopt my baby?” The Fish’s said, “Yes.” So the next day the Fish’s went to Nakon Nayok with their friend. It was a flood outside. The Fish’s waited for the mother and the baby a long time. And then finally they came and the mother kissed the baby goodbye and put the baby in Mrs. Fish’s arms. Mrs. Fish cried. The baby looked up at her and smiled. The baby knew that she got a new family. The Fish’s named the baby Audrey Napah Fish. The years passed by and one day when Audrey was five she asked her mother, “Can you tell me my birth story?” The mother told her the story and when the story was over Audrey asked her mother, “When will I see my birth mother again?” Her mother said I don’t know. Audrey wanted to see her birth mother. She knew some day she’d get to see her again.

The End.  

Worth the Wait!

I love Joseph's story.  I especially love how the Lord works all the difficult for good in the end, but the length of time it took for the good to come about really struck me as I recently read this very familiar narrative.  Years passed as a rejected brother, then there was the long season as Potiphar's slave, and then finally even more years in the Egyptian prison.  How difficult this must have been?  After Joseph interpreted the cup-bearer's dream, Joseph asked that his name be mentioned to Pharaoh.  Here was a  God-given opportunity to finally get on with his life, but sadly, Joseph was forgotten by the cup-bearer.  FORGOTTEN, the Scriptures say!  Two more years would pass in that lonely prison cell before his name would be remembered and mentioned to Pharaoh.  I tried to envision what that would have been like.  All those long seasons of waiting had to have been torturous at times.  His mind probably often traveled back to those early days when he dreamed dreams.  What good had those dreams been, for he was now separated from the family that he loved, locked away in a prison cell, and forgotten.  Can you relate?  I can.

I've never been locked away in a literal prison cell, but sometimes those steel bars, though invisible to the eye, can clearly be seen in my heart, leaving me immobile and feeling forgotten.  It's in these times of waiting that my faith has been tried the most.  Every time the Lord speaks a Word or gives a dream, encouraging me to believe and step out, there's always a season of waiting.  Sometimes the wait period is short and other times it is painfully long.  Always I am left wondering if I had really heard from Him and asking, "Hadn't You promised, Lord?"  In these moments, only the shield of faith can help me to conquer those fiery darts that the enemy throws at me.

Thankfully, Joseph's story has an ending.  I'm so glad we weren't left to wonder what happened to that awestruck dreamer.  We clearly see in the story that God had not forgotten Joseph nor his dreams. What was intended for evil, God worked for good and many lives were saved as a result.  If we asked Joseph today if it had been worth the wait, I am confident he would have said, "Yes!  A thousand times, YES!"  I needed this reminder this week.  There are some things I've been praying about for years now.  Words of promise I have been believing, yet I remain waiting.  Family and friends I long to see free, dreams yet to be fulfilled, closure to important issues, and more.  I must admit, there are days I wonder if God will ever do what He has promised.  I get tired of waiting and feel forgotten.  God must think I'm a broken record, always laying before Him these concerns.  Then I remember that His Word will not return void!  God will do what He has promised.  His ways, His thoughts are not my own.  They are better . . . infinitely better!  So I will keep waiting and believing, for someday my eyes will see.

"Then Jesus said, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?" (John 11:40)

Dare ya!

I keep hearing Richard's words in my head, "less is more," and after that last blog, you're probably thinking the same thing.  Yeah, yeah, I know, but when my heart is full, it's hard to keep it short and sweet.  However for this blog, I'm going to cut to the chase.  YOU are loved!  For God so loved _____ that He gave His only begotten Son. Go ahead, just put your name right in that blank.  Say it over and over, then look in a mirror and say it again, but don't stop there.  The next step is to believe it!  That's the hard part, at least it was for me, but believing this truth has changed my life!

Yesterday, I was reminded of God's love in a very strange place.  Instead of skipping over that dreaded section of genealogies found in Genesis and Chronicles, I found myself thinking about those names all day.  Countless of men and women, who were fearfully and wonderfully made in our Creator's image and who God knew by name, filled the pages of my Bible and my mind.  That's a lot of names, and He knew each one inside and out.  Amazing!  Then I thought about the women I met earlier this week at the local jail.  I went with the desire to encourage these women with the love of God, yet as I left there it seems that God used these women to encourage me.  Women with a history.  Women whom God knows by name.  Women deeply loved!  I can't even express how this made my heart rejoice.  I didn't see these women as criminals.  What I saw were women with names and stories who longed for love just as I have.  We were no different and in that time of worship, as we sang about our Lord's amazing grace, God's love broke through.  Tears filled the hearts of the broken and we dared to believe, "I am loved!"

Now, go on; fill in that blank with your name and BELIEVE!  I dare you :D

These Are the Days of Our Lives

I'm not a big fan of soap operas, although I used to be.  Days of Our Lives was a must watch show for many years, but over time I began to not like all the drama.  Give me something more uplifting, please!  So I turned to America's Funniest Home Videos.  Laughing at other people's blunders was way more enjoyable than despairing over Bo and Hope's relationship!

Last night at small group, a good friend kept us in stitches commenting on how Genesis was none other than a soap opera itself.  Such scandalous material found in this one book!  There's Abraham and Isaac both lying about their wives being their sister (although Sarah was Abraham's half-sister).  Lot's daughters decide to go to bed with their father in order to conceive (GROSS!).  Jacob manipulates Esau for his birthright.  Rebekah convinces Jacob to deceive his father and steal Esau's blessing.  Laban deceives Jacob by giving him Leah instead of Rachel on his wedding night (still not sure how Jacob didn't know until the next morning!).  Rachel lies to her father and hides the family idols.  A whole town of men are told to circumcise themselves in order to make a treaty but instead they're slaughtered when they least expect it.  Need I say more?  This IS soap opera material!  Such drama makes my head spin.  Where is the hope in the midst of all this depravity?

Early on in Genesis, the Lord says something very significant to Cain that I've not been able to shake, "'Why are you so angry?' the Lord asked him. 'Why do you look so dejected? You will be accepted if you respond in the right way.  But if you refuse to respond correctly, then watch out!  Sin is waiting to attack and destroy you, and you must subdue it (4:6-7)."  Clearly, Cain longed to be accepted, yet when told what to do, he didn't listen.  Jealousy drove him to kill his brother and in the end sin did destroy him.  The story ends by Cain leaving the Lord's presence.  He left the very One who loved him most.  For days I've been chewing on this story.  Aren't we all like Cain?  The longing for acceptance is real, something we all can relate to.  The Lord told Cain what to do.  The answer lay right before his face.  It wasn't rocket science or a mystery that needed to be solved.  There was a right way to respond and in doing so, sin would no longer be master in his life.  Unfortunately, Cain rejected God and sought to do things his own way, and sadly not much has changed today.  In our longing to be accepted, we often times look to everything but God to fill that void.  So, what is the "right way" to respond?  And how is it possible to subdue sin in a world racked with it?

It says in Genesis 15:6, "And Abraham believed the Lord, and the Lord declared him righteous because of his faith."  This is probably one of the most important verses in the whole Bible.  It's so important both Paul and James make reference to it in their New Testament letters.  We are accepted by God when we believe in Him.  Period!  Paul says it so clearly in Romans 10:9, "If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved."  This is good news and God has been proclaiming it since the very beginning of time!  Yet, I find this hard to believe.  Can it really be that simple?  Isn't there more?  Don't I need to try harder and do more in order to be accepted?


Sin is ugly and it does destroy.  I believe the enemy seeks to deceive us into believing that we must perform to be accepted.  Too much emphasis is put on ourselves, which keeps us blinded to the truth. Our only hope to overcome is Jesus.  Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, the forefathers of our faith, were not perfect.  They sinned even after they believed, but the important thing is they believed.  Actually I am convinced they ended up obeying God BECAUSE they believed.  It's a good thing that Genesis clearly paints a picture of sinful man.  If we never read about our forefathers sins than we might believe that salvation is based off of performance.  Grace is found in these stories.  Unmerited, undeserved grace!  Undoubtedly, we should marvel at their performance.  Taking Isaac up that mountain in obedience to God's command was no small thing, but it's the grace of God we must marvel at most.  Only Abba, our loving Father, could save us from such depravity.  Only He could make us a people, who once were not accepted, accepted in His eyes, and only He can equip us to walk this road of faith.  Thankfully, in these days of our lives there IS hope for us all, and His name is JESUS!

Sons of God, Beautiful Women and Giants, OH MY!

So I'm reading through the Chronological Bible this year, and already I am having to scratch my head at some of the stories.  "When the human population began to grow rapidly on the earth the sons of God saw the beautiful women of the human race and took any they wanted for their wives . . . in those days, and even afterwards, giants lived on the earth, for whenever the sons of God had intercourse with human women, they gave birth to children who became the heroes mentioned in legends of old."  (Genesis 6:1-2, 4)  WHAT!  Who in the world are these sons of God that produced giants with women of the human race?  This definitely sounds like a sci-fi story if you ask me.  And people say the Bible is boring.  I've never heard a preacher preach on this passage, and I'm not sure I want to.  Maybe it's best this one is left a mystery.  Yet, I know that all the stories are not to remain mysterious to us.  The stories of the saints of old reveal something very important for us today.  God is great and following Him is nothing short of adventurous.

After reading Noah and Abraham's story, I also recognize that following the Lord isn't easy.  As a child I distinctly remember the beauty of rainbows and promises in these stories, but as an adult I see the significance and difficulty of obedience.  So much of the story is untold.  What was Noah thinking when the Lord said to him, "I have decided to destroy all living creatures, for the earth is filled with violence because of them.  Yes, I will wipe them all from the face of the earth!" (Gen. 6:13)  Noah had friends and family that he was close to.  There were siblings, parents, fellow companions and neighbors that he cared about.  No doubt, this was heartbreaking news!  If that wasn't difficult enough, next God asks him to build this gigantic boat so that he could take care of the entire animal kingdom!  Imagine what Noah must have been feeling.  The world as he knew it was going to be destroyed.  How painful and lonely it must have been to build that boat knowing what he knew.  Yet Noah's thoughts aren't what we read.  His actions spoke louder than words, "So Noah did everything exactly as God had commanded him." (Gen. 6:22)

Abraham's story is no different.  The Lord tells him, "Leave your country, your relatives, and your father's house, and go to the land I will show you."  Just think about it.  Abraham was asked to leave his home, the place he was most comfortable, and go.  He wasn't told where he was going.  He simply was told to go.  Imagine packing your bags, not knowing where you're going, yet getting in your car and driving until the Lord says stop.  People must have thought he was crazy.  Abraham probably had a moment or two when he thought he was crazy himself.  Yet once again actions speak louder than words, "So Abraham departed as the Lord had instructed him." (Gen. 12:4)

These stories really stand out to me.  How could these guys do it?  What enabled them to lay it all down and obey?  Belief!  Both Noah and Abraham were said to be righteous: men who believed God.  Because they believed they could do nothing else but obey, even though it was difficult and costly.  They weren't thinking about what they were giving up because they had their eyes set on the prize.  I want to be like them.  The rainbows and promises found in these stories remain very special to me, but I am even more thankful for this heritage of faith that's been passed down through the ages.  My prayer is that Abba finds me faith-full and willing to obey no matter what.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.  We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith." (Heb. 12:1-2)

In the beginning . . .

I'm not a big fan of beginnings.  Every time I must start something anew, no matter how big or small, gripping fear and anxiety always paralyzes me.  Sometimes I'm immovable for just a brief moment, other times for days on end.  Why?  Maybe it's because all beginnings hold failures of some sort.  I am who I am today because of my losses, but no fall is without pain.  I think I'm more afraid of the unknown than failure though.  Where will this beginning end?  What roads will I have to walk?  What mountains will be climbed?  What valleys trudged?  Can I possibly persevere regardless of what happens?  These questions and many more make beginnings unpleasant for me.

"In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth." (Gen. 1:1).  Truly God was not afraid of failure.  He couldn't have been afraid of the unknown either.  For He is omniscient, knowing everything that the future would hold.  Yet amazingly, knowing all didn't stop Him.  It could have.  I think it would have me.  "You mean people are going to reject me, want to be gods themselves, and destroy my creation as a result."  Nope, I would have squashed that idea like a bug.  Yet God wasn't thinking about all the negative things that would happen.  He saw the beginning as an opportunity to create.  Could it be that He began with the end in mind, knowing that He would make all things new?

It's 2012, a new year full of beginnings and occasions to create.  Even now as I type and think about the possibilities that lie before me, my stomach gets queasy and my heart flutters.  What will this year hold?  What losses will have to be counted?  What unknown way trekked?  Can I possibly endure?  In the beginning God . . . He was in the beginning, and He is in the now, and He will be in my tomorrow.  This truth settles my unnerved heart.  I can take a deep breath and relax a bit.  Maybe beginnings aren't so bad afterall.  Maybe I too need to keep the end in mind as I begin.  For He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it.