Silent!

"But the Lord said to Moses, 'Because you did not trust Me enough to demonstrate my holiness to the people of Israel, you will not lead them into the land I am giving them!"  (Numbers 20:12  NLT)

Ever wish you could do a day over?  If Moses could have done anything over in his life, I wonder if it would have been this day.  The great hero of our faith had seen the burning bush and stood on holy ground.  He had witnessed the ten unprecedented plagues and walked on dry soil through the Red Sea.  The glory of God radiated before him when God's laws were entrusted into his hands.  There are few in Scripture we esteem more than Moses himself.  Yet on this day, those awesome acts of power didn't make a difference when he struck the rock instead of speaking to it.  Disobedience stemming from distrust changed everything.

There are days I wish I could hit the rewind button.  One moment in particular stands out.  As I drove my car to band practice one night, God spoke to me in a vision, which transformed my life, but with that vision came the command to be silent.  I disobeyed.  Circumstances and feelings dictated my behavior instead of God's instructions.  I speculated far too much and shared things with people that only brought confusion and division.  As a result, the ramifications were devastating.  Friendships ended, and the ministry my husband and I were leading changed.  My heart was broken.  If only I had trusted and obeyed, things would have been different.  I knew God forgave me, but it took a long time to forgive myself.

It's been years since those difficult days, and God's grace has enabled my heart to taste and see His goodness.   As I sat in my chair this morning and reflected on Moses's disobedience, I remembered the time I too distrusted.  The dark valley that followed was great, yet God's grace was greater and His love permitted me to climb heights I didn't even know existed.  If Moses could do it all over again, I don't think he would.  For it's in weakness we become strong.  Moses had seen God's power shake the mountains, but it was His love and grace that transformed his life, equipping Him to be God's vessel.

When all seems lost and you long for a do-over, look to Jesus and abide in His love.  He makes all things new!

Abba, Your grace amazes me.  Thank you for forgiving me.  I don't like the fact that I disobeyed You.  It grieves my heart to think about it, but I'm learning that where sin abounds, Your grace abounds even more.  Help me to abide in You, Lord, and empower me to trust and obey.